Something that's particularly gotten under my skin in Song of Solomon is the sexual double standard that we see evidenced in the lives of every main and most supporting characters. This double standard has come up in other books we've read this semester -- scrutiny of Brett for her philandering instantly comes to mind -- but it's most pronounced in Song of Solomon, and it's effects on women are by far the most striking. The men are able to gallivant about the town, while the women characters are either cloistered away and/or tortured by unrealized sexual tensions.
The first blatant acknowledgement of the general sexism of the environment of Song of Solomon doesn't come until the end of Chapter 10, when Lena points out Milkman's privilege to be both oblivious and exercise absolute power:
"'You've never picked up anything heavier tan you own feet, or solved a problem harder than fourth-grade arithmetic. Where do you get the right to decide our lives? (...) I'll tell you where. From that hog's gut that hangs down between your legs."
"Hog's gut." What an exhilarating read. Anyway, Lena is absolutely right. Here, she is chastising Milkman for breaking up Corinthians and Porter (something I'll discuss later), but she's onto something bigger than just that one incident. To do a run-down of the evidence:
- Men
- Milkman: Is in a twenty-year relationship with Hagar, which he abandons for no reason other than that he's getting bored. During this relationship, he is known to be involved with other women. Guitar references him having a "red-headed bitch" as well as a "South-side bitch," -- the "South-side bitch" (Hagar) sees Milkman with another woman shortly after their breakup, which does nothing but further compound her eventually fatal heartbreak. When Milkman goes to Shalimar, he cannot help but observe the impoverished women and comment upon how he really "needs" one, and he eventually spends the night with Sweet.
- Guitar: There's the reference Milkman makes to Guitar getting rid of a woman every six months or so. Presumably, his lack of commitment is due to Guitar's involvement in the days necessitating a solitary lifestyle, but for a woman, it would mean eschewing sexual contact all together.
- Macon II: Withholds sex from his wife as a means of punishment, meanwhile lays with renters who are unable to pay (yick).
- Women -- Milkman and Guitar's behavior isn't especially problematic in and of itself, but when we see that the same activities aren't possible for the women in the story (the double standard), their behavior really becomes ugly.
- Ruth: As referenced above, is made to be sexually frustrated for twenty years when her husband won't sleep with her. She is crippled by the monogamy, but he is not.
- Hagar: As a result of Milkman's nonchalant attitude towards their relationship, she is driven insane. It's not clear as to whether or not Hagar is able to have relations with other men in the way Milkman is, but their subplot exemplifies the differing attitudes towards sex with which women and men are brought up in this society.
- First Corinthians (and implicitly, Lena): Both Milkman and the girls still live under their parents roof, which serves as a chastity belt for Corinthians and Lena in a way that it does not for Milkman. Macon and Milkman are free to determine Corinthians partners, and send Porter packing when they don't approve of him (the reason doesn't matter -- as Lena unintentionally points out, Milkman too associates with a member of the Days, so he really has no right to react against Corinthians associating with a different member).
- Pilate: Seems to have experienced the double standard to a much lesser extent. However, she notes that it was hard for her when nobody would sleep with her (due to her belly button). If nothing else, Pilate's experience shows that women have desire, too.
Up until Chapter 12, our protagonist, Milkman, had been blatantly oblivious/unapologetic about his attitude towards his relations vs. those of the women. So, my jaw just about hit the floor when on page 300, Milkman realizes the torture faced by his mother:
"The best years of [Ruth's] life, from age twenty to forty, had been celibate, and aside from the consummation that began his own life, the rest of her life had been the same. He hadn't thought much of it when she'd told him, but now it seemed to him that such sexual deprivation would affect her, hurt her in precisely the way that if would affect and hurt him [emphasis added]. If it were possible for somebody to force him to live that way, to tell him 'You may walk and live among women, you may even lust after them, but you will not make love for the next twenty years,' how would he fee? What would he do?"
He goes on to continue an analysis of his other unenlightened attitudes about his life and his family. Perhaps his demolition at the hands of Lena did make it through his skull. As we discussed in class on Friday, the quest for the gold seems to be shaping into a vehicle for Milkman's long-awaited maturity into adulthood. His acknowledgement of the sexual double standard that has so shaped his relationships and his society is crucial to overcoming his arrested development.
